If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
vagina is talking i cant
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
