We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
