Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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