Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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