Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
