Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
