We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
a search helicopter?!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
