the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
