I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
