she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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