YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Can Purell be used as lube?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
