so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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