just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
