I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize