More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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