I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
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STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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