Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
