I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
