My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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