WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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