FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
