they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
