There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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