Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
