We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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