i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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