He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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