guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
