I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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