She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
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