Your tits are I can't wait for
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
