Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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