I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
