Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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