Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
