That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
