I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
