So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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