When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she told me i tasted like america
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week