I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition