There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize