Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Do ugly people know they are ugly?

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

The quiet ones do.

Fav 25 2543 2749
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.

Fav 21 9866 1741
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(319): View more from Iowa

Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

Fav 31 9710 1615
share tweet
(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.

Fav 8 3784 1979
share tweet
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...

Fav 5 2106 1229
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.

Fav 8 2642 853
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?

Fav 7 1599 954
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(920): View more from Wisconsin

Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.

Fav 7 1042 508
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?

(941): View more from Florida

You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.

Fav 1 51 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT