Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.