There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.