she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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