I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
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You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
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You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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