So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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