I wanna passion pit in your ass
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
