I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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