Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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