so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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