You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
