so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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