You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
