I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize