Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
