He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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