So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
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I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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