you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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