that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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