one might say we're banned from that church
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
