why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
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This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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