I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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