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ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
