Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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