TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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