There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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